Music ~ The Dance ~ Garth Brooks

~*~*~30 July 2001 ~*~*~
~So Many things~

So many things have happened since last updated this diary! Stange, bizzare dreams, emotions all over the place.I was watching Pretty Woman a few nights ago, boy I have seen that film over 100 times but I couldn't stop blubbing! Mal laughed at me and was what's up with you it's not that sad! (Or is it?) Mal I don't know why I am crying!! I don' know I whaled! "Hum Hormones" was his loving reply! And propmtly stared at the TV! So much for being supportive!
Oh well that's men for ya I guess!

Was finally booked in last week and am a little upset to be honest but I will have to tell you about that later tonight.
Braddles, the little angel, has just woken up from his nap! Will write more tonight I hope.
Love you little 15 week bean in there!
Nicki



~*~*~6 August 2001 ~*~*~
~Catching up~

I know I said I would write some more and explain why I was a little upset after my booking in appointment but
typically Bradley became rather unwell with a nasty tummy bug and then started teething on top of it poor little
mite he hasn't had a very good time of it lately and to be honest neither have I, the sickness has returned with
a vengeance but more about that later!

I need to explain why I was a little upset after my booking in appointment. Myself and the midwife discussed my birth
options as I had an emergency c-section with Bradley and I am petrified it will happen again she told me the likelihood
of me having to have an elective section was 99% due to the curve I have in my spine and the reason they think Bradley
didn't come down far enough is that I have a small pelvis and the position of the curve I have didn't help. To be
honest I'm not 100% sure about it all even now! I really wanted to have a go at giving birth to this little one
myself, if this makes sense, I felt so cheated that I couldn't do it myself with Bradley but I guess the main
thing is that this little one arrives safely and that I am OK as well.

OK now up to speed as to where I am in this pregnancy as I said before the sickness has returned with a vengeance so I
decided to see my midwife who found a small amount of keytones in my urine and was talking about sending me to the
hospital to be put on a drip but luckily the keytones, to be honest not even sure what they are, were not high enough or
something!

Heard the baby's heartbeat as well for the first time yesterday, magical, it was a little worrying at first as the
midwife couldn't find it although the baby was moving around quite a bit we could hear that! She then found it and
Bradley was fascinated enough to stop trying to pull everything out of my bag and listen he even said bubba! And
now all he keeps doing is pulling my tops up patting or kissing my belly and saying bubba - so sweet.

Well that's where I am going to leave it for this entry I really have to discipline myself to do a little bit every
few days or week but to be honest it's finding the energy :-(

Love you bubba 17 weeks and 3 days stay strong for mummy, daddy and Bradley.

Nicki




~*~*~30 August 2001~*~*~
~Support?~

A few days ago Mal (my loving and kind partner or dp) kindly said to me you look like you have a beer belly not pregnant!
Wow how nice is that? I mean I was feeling terribly bloated and fat and fed up! All I wanted was a little support from
him "no dear you're not fat you look lovely" kinda thing but can he do it, nope, oh well he's a bloke I guess and doesn't
understand these kind of things!

The following day he asked me if I'd been taking my folic acid tabs and my multi vitamins, yes Hun I have, that's good
then I don't want our baby to have spina bifida or anything! How sweet of him he didn't mention anything when I was
having Bradley about any of this!! He then asks me about the nuchal fold test although he didn't know what it was called
he just said have you had that test for Down's syndrome yet? Hun I had that test at 12 weeks and told you the result at
the time, oh yeah he says, I must have forgotten! Lovely!! Well at least he's taking an interest in this pregnancy more
than he did with Bradley but the beer belly comment has really got to me!

Right now as I type this I am trussed up like a turkey! Why I hear you ask? Well I had a physio appointment this
afternoon and the physiotherapist told me I have to wear this support belt thing humn little bubba here didn't
like it very much as soon as it was put on he went mad proper movements the first I've felt apart from those irregular
fluttering :-) It's so cool feeling him move for the first time I was getting so worried as I felt Bradley's first
proper kick at 18 weeks and was so concerned that I hadn't felt this one move properly.
 

I have my next scan in just under 3 weeks time :-) It seems like a lifetime away and I can't wait although I have this
huge fear that they are going to tell me something has gone wrong I keep dreaming that I am in the scan room and they
can't find my baby's heartbeat I am screaming the place down please be strong for mummy daddy and Bradley baby we need
you and love you lots.

On a happier note though! We go to Furterventura in just under 3 weeks! The day after the scan and I can't wait
although being 22 weeks pregnant and having an energetic toddler running around getting into mischief humm I can see
the funness of it all now LOL I will enjoy myself I will!!! That's what I keep telling my self anyway! Well I'm gonna leave it there for today so tired.
We love you 19 weeks and 3 days stay strong for us XXXXX
Nickii



~*~*~16 September 2001~*~*~
~Not sure what to call this entry~

Reflexology went for the appointment and had a treatment not sure about it though as I felt a lot worse with the sickness
and that but hey we can't have it all can we? The complementary midwife told me it's coz of the curve in my
spine! Apparently I have an imbalance in my body or something! Have had 2 appointments with her so far and she
didn't do a treatment last week as I really needed the 3rd one on Weds but I am flying to Furterventra on Weds but a
little more about that in a min. So she has given me some homeopathic tablets to take instead, haven't seen that much of
a difference though :-(

Saw my midwife last week and she annoyed me to say the least! I felt so rushed I had a few questions for her but
she kept on about how she was running 35 mins late etc. Aggghhh never mind eh. Bubba gave me a scare when she was
trying to find his heartbeat! She found it though, what a wonderful sound like galloping horses but I know it's my
baby. Have to have blood taken on Tues what fun coz I'm RH- have to have lots of needles stuck in me how I hate that!!
Bubba is doing well though that's the main thing!! Although she thinks that my placenta is more to the front as I'm not
feeling proper kicks still at almost 22 weeks. Have a scan on Tues can't wait to see bubba again and find out if he's a he
or a she but have decided we are not going to tell any one so don't even ask - LOL.

Harry's angel day was also last week how I got though it I don't know but I came through with the strength that I have
a little one growing inside me that will never never be subjected to domestic violence as long as I am alive and
neither will Bradley.

I cannot believe what has happened in the USA I sat and
watched the news in disbelief my first thoughts were what kind of a world am I bringing my children into? Words cannot
describe those people who perpetrated this act all those innocent people killed for what?? No-one has taken
responsibility and if they did can you imagine what would happen? It scares the hell out of me what if this country
goes to war with the USA, omg it's too scarey to think about but I am terrified for my family. My heartfelt thoughts and
love are with all those families of every nationality that have lost a loved on in this tragedy is that the right word?
 

My holiday well I am so scared to be getting on a plane
after last Tues events but as Mal said why let a bunch of &^%$&^% * ruin our holiday he that he has worked long and
hard to pay for. I kinda agree with him but we've been told to expect some sort of delay on the flight, why do we have to
fly out there can't we get the train?? I am running round like a headless chicken trying to get everything ready and
packed in time the next entry may be the night before I go coz of the scan on Tues but more than likely when I get back home
and have sorted through the ton of washing etc.
Love you bubba 21 weeks and 6 days
Nicki



~*~*~14 October 2001~*~*~
~So much has happened ~

I warn you who ever is reading this that this entry into bubba's life growing inside me is going to be wildly long as
so much has been happening since my last entry. Please excuse me as well if it's a little jumbled and mixed up in places
but hey let's blame that on my pregnancy brain, they do say that your brain shrinks in pregnancy LOL well mine certainly
has I tend to waffle a lot now just like I'm doing now lol. Thinking aout it I may have to do this in several sittings!
And over several days my back is really hurting as I sit and type this.
Right here goes, remember in my last entry I was going on holiday and was having a scan the day before I was due to
fly this is the news from the scan.............
 

~23 week scan~

Had our 23 weeks scan on Tuesday 18th September, our little bubba put on quite a show for mummy, daddy and Bradley
wiggling around and playing peek-a-boo with his/her hands. Apparently the reason I don't look 5 ½ months pregnant is
because bubba's head is on my cervix. The radiographer said that the scan was hard to perform because of bubba's
position s/he is very low down but at the time of the scan bubba was with his/her back facing out to my belly and
his/her face was looking to my left. It's totally amazing what you can see on a scan so much detail. The radiographer
was really nice and was pointing out and telling us all that she could see, "there's baby's liver, kidney heart etc" When
it came to check baby's face s/he became a little camera shy bless and turned his/her face away and the radiographer spent
ages trying to get him/her to turn towards us again but s/he was having none of it. I'd love to know why my kids are so
stubborn do they get it from me I wonder? More than likely LOL! After a lot of persuasion on both mine and Carol ( the
radiographer - I just looked in my notes!) Bubba finally turned his/her head WOW s/he looked perfect to me. All mal
wanted to know was is bubba a boy or a girl?? He asked carol and she asked me if I wanted to know "yes please" she had to
try and get bubba to open his/her legs a little more his/her legs were crossed at the ankle "I think we have a little
girl here" said Carol "I can see a line but no dangling bits" Carols words not mine lol OMG we're having a girl!!
And I was adamant that she was a boy!! I'm gonna give my kids a complex at this rate I thought Bradley was a girl and I thought this little one was a boy!!

This pregnancy has been so different from the pregnancy I had with Bradley but hey each one is different coz each
baby/child is different. Our little girl is so laid back during the day I hardly feel her move but wait until I get
into bed at night and am just about to fall asleep and she will kick and wriggle for England! I hope she's not going to
be a night baby I need my sleep with an energetic toddler around! Anyway I'm waffling again sorry back to the scan
Carol told me that she cannot see any abnormalities with bubba she is perfect but is a little skinny!! Everything is
fine it's such a relief. I can't wait to met her now Stay strong little one mummy daddy and Bradley love you and can't
wait to met you in January.

~Holiday~

The holiday was okish I guess! To be honest I was supprised at the security at the airport I really didn't notice any
difference from any other year we have travelled in light of what happened in the states I was so supprised! Although
saying that quite a few people were told they couldn't take their hand luggage on board! Even those with small babies!
They were made to take out 1 nappy a few wipes and 1 bottle for their child and that was it! They let me go through with
Bradley's rucksack with a whole packet of nappies! 2 packets of wipes a couple of bottles and some other stuff! I guess it
was who you got on your check in desk! We had a ½ hour or so delay but that's nothing really! Bradley was really good on
the flight considering he was sitting on either mine or Mal's lap for the duration of the 4 hour flight I was so proud of
him. Our little girl didn't like the flight very much it felt like she was doing somersaults during the take off made me
feel quite sick. I am going to have to finish or carry this entry on later today or tomorrow hopefully my back is so sore
I need to lay down

Stay strong for mummy, daddy and Bradley our little princess 26 weeks and 6 day

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