Georgina's Life

Music Diamond Rio - One More Day With You

Georgina's baby diary was written by me on the dates shown I only kept this diary until Georgie was 8/9 weeks old. I wish I had continued it, but I just never seemed to find the time to do it I am so please I kept this little dairy of Georgina's life on earth as it will reinforce my memories of her forever, and help me to remember how I was feeling at the time and what was happening to Georgina at the time of writing.

Life On The Outside - Georgina's Baby Diary -

4th February 2002
I know I am starting this dairy a little late seeing as Georgie is now 5 weeks old. I had planed on starting this dairy when she was first born just as a record for her, when she is older she can look back at her early years & see what was happening to her & how I was feeling.

I'll start by brining this diary up to speed & up to date, hopefully that will explain why we are where we are now (hope that made sense?). Georgina Elizabeth Rosina entered this world on 31st December 2001 (New Years Eve) at 18:21 by c-section. She was 37 gestation weeks she was born early because of problems with her growth during the pregnancy & because my waters went at 34 weeks so she did well to stay inside me for the 3 weeks that she did after my waters went.

Georgie was 4lb 11oz at birth so very tiny. She was 16 inches long, we call her little dot. After Georgie was born the first few days she lost a lot of weight going down to just under 4lb on the weds (she was born on the Mon.). The hospital decided to keep her in until the sat when they re-weighed her & she had gained weight going up to 4lb 6oz, so they let her come home. Then it was a yo-yo thing each time she was weighed which was every few days she had either lost or gained very small amounts of weight. She regained her birth weight last week at just over 4 weeks of age. During all this Georgie was referred back to the hospital & they basically put it all don to a feeding problem, i.e. she is not getting enough milk from me as she is fully breast fed. I am sitting writing this (with pen & paper) in Queen Mary's Hospital Sidcup on Whiteoak ward where Georgina was admitted to last night.

Yesterday I was sitting with Georgie on my knee when her eyes rolled forward & she started to jerk & twitch. I was so scared. Mum was there & I asked her to come & have a look at Georgie when Georgie went as stiff as a board & all the colour drained from her literally before my eyes. So I phoned for an ambulance to get her to hospital. The Dr examined Georgie listening to her chest & heart I commented to mum afterwards that the Dr had spent a long
time listening had she found something? As she didn't say anything about it. I took Bradley out of the room for a break while mum stayed with Georgie, the Dr came back & mum asked her if she had found anything & her reply was she thought that she had detected a heart murmur. But wasn't 100% sure. She admitted Georgina so she could be checked out properly & for the consultant to see her. Some of the reason being was because of the fit & because of Georgina's weight.

The consultant came to see Georgie this morning & said her was doubtful that Georgie had, had a fit I told him I beg to differ he wasn't there he didn't see what she did & what she was like afterwards etc. He looked Georgina over & confirmed that she has a heart murmur. He also ordered an ECG to be done as well. I am so scared & worried what all this could mean for Georgie & her future. I understand that some heart murmurs are innocent but some are not. The consultant wants Georgie to stay in hospital until at least Friday if she has gained weight then she can come home, if not she is to stay in hospital until she starts gaining. Along with all this they have done lots of blood tests for metabolic screening & for cystic fybrois I am so worried.

17th February 2002.

Georgie is 7 weeks old tomorrow. I can't believe that she's only been here for 7 weeks it feels like she's been here forever. I can remember life before Georgie but it feels strange, thinking of life before her.

To carry on from my last entry Georgie came home on Friday after loosing yet more weight! I had to take her back on Tues. 12th Feb. to be re-weighed & she has gained a little! (less than 1oz) I have to take her back to the hospital tomorrow (Monday) I feel like I live at the hospital at the moment, maybe I should set up a tent outside would be easier for all these appointments we have lol. I have a lot of questions for the Dr about these blood tests & such & about this heart murmur. But enough talk about hospitals for now no doubt that there will be many more hospital appointments to comment on later!!

I'm sure Georgie started smiling last week although I'm not 100% sure. She was laying on my bed while I went & made my first morning coffee (can't get through the day without that first cup of coffee it was a nightmare when I was pregnant with both Bradley & Georgie as There was Bradley laying on my bed next to HIS baby chatting away to her & she looked as though she was smiling & trying to chatter back to him, but it could have been wind I guess. It was so cute finding them like it though a memory I will always treasure & remember.

I've started to try & get Georgie into a bed time routine tonight it's gone well so far. The routine is that brad has his dinner then bath bedtime story in bed with mummy (that way he gets at least 10 minutes of my complete attention) & then it's nighty nights for Bradley. After I have put Bradley to bed at around 7pm I give Georgie a bath a baby massage & then a feed & then she is put to bed in her crib in my room. At the moment she is sound
asleep until her next feed! I really want to have both he kids in bed settled & asleep by about 8:30pm so, I can then get some housework done or just put my feet up & relax. Keeping my fingers crossed that it will work out like I hope it will.

Bradley loves his baby sister so much it is so cute. He's forever trying to cuddle & is forever kissing her. Sometimes when Georgie hears Bradley's voice she gets this little look across her face as if to say "oh no not him again slobbering all over me"

I am so tired tonight Georgie was waking every 1 ½ - 2 hourly last night for feeds so I think I will call it a night on this entry & will try & write more tomorrow after the hospital appointment.

18th February 2000

Georgie was back up the hospital today to see her consultant & to have her sweat test. The sweat test went OK. It was quite a strange experience. First the Dr who was a lovely bloke put some liquid on Georgie's leg then he hocked her up to a battery & sent a small electrical current through the liquid that was on some gauze, apparently this pushes the liquid into the skin to make her sweat. Georgie didn't like this bit very much (don't blame her really who wants an electric current running through them no matter how small?!) She started to scream which woke Bradley who was asleep in his buggy. Bradley started having a go at the Dr ( as well as an 21 month old can) telling him to "get off baby making baby sore”

3rd March 2002

I was going to continue the last entry but so much has happened over the last 2 weeks.
Georgie is back in hospital after being admitted on Thursday (28th Feb.) I took her to be weighed at clinic on Tuesday (26th Feb.) she had only gained 1oz and is 5lb 5oz. Allison our health visitor decided to contact Georgina's consultant who wanted her to come back on Thursday to discuss what's been happening & where to go from here. They decided to admit her and start tube feeding her to see what that would do as she refuses a bottle and we need to get calories into her. When she dose take a bottle she just pukes it back up which is undoing giving her the top-up bottle in the first place.I was with Georgina when they inserted the tube. (if fitting it is the right word). She didn't like it very much at all! Cried and cried poor little thing. I wanted to burst into tears
myself they were hurting my baby girl. I also wanted to punch the nurse feelings are a strange thing & at the moment there is so much going through my head it's untrue.

4th March 2002

I am so angry at the Drs here at the hospital. For all their talk of encouraging me to continue breast feeding they have now decided to stop the tube feeds and use a bottle!! Georgie refuses the bottle they are saying its defiantly a feeding problem with regards her weigh, there is no medical problem what's so ever, even though they have not completed or intend on completing all the tests they had intended to do. The reason for this is that Georgie has gained 5oz in 2 days. My argument to this is she did this before gained 6oz in 3 days when she was approx. 3 weeks old & then went back downhill again.

Don't get me wrong I don't want for there to be anything wrong with my daughter but, my gut feeling is that something is wrong & it's not all a feeding problem. WHY won't they listen to me?? I am Georgina's mum, I carried her for 37 weeks/8 months & have been with her 24/7 since she was born 9 weeks ago.

After a lengthy chat with Georgina's nurse who agreed with me that the 2 hourly feeding was a bit too much for me to keep up when Georgie is discharged, so she thought it would be better for Georgie & me & the circumstances at home for her to keep the tube.

5th March 2002

Today has been both a good and bad day. Georgie has gained 2oz in 2 days a total of 7oz gain in 6 days, so in that respect she is doing well. Weighing in at 5lb 12oz so at 9 weeks old Georgie has gained only 1lb 1oz ½ of that in the last week!.

The Dr's have decided to change Georgie's feeding to 3 hourly, she is now having 60mls approx 2oz every 6 hours and breast feeds in-between which makes her feeding every 3 hourly. They have removed her feeding tube as well today because Georgina the little minx is now lapping up bottles!!! She used to refuse the bottle I have tried for well over an hour to get a bottle into her. So far today she has had 3 bottles & has swallowed each one in 5 mins flat! I really don't want her to have the bottles & I know that deep down it's the best thing for her right now but that does not stop me from hating, loathing even giving her bottles. I also hate my own body as well I can't produce enough milk to feed and sustain if this is the right word my own daughter. I felt down and depressed doubting my ability as mother before al this happened. Now I feel 10 times worse. At the moment I just can't cope!!!!!

With regards the bottles & Georgie I now believe that it is the teats that are causing the problem. The teats they are using here for her bottles are thin an long & do not have a bulbous end like the Advent teats I've been using at home. Also these teats are very soft and pliable the Advents are no. So with these ones here at the hospital she can "milk" them like the breast. My mum tried to explain this to the nurse and she seemed to give off the attitude that she couldn't care less. I will discuss this with the Dr's in the morning & see what they think. I really feel as though the Dr's are not listening to me I WANT To breast feed Georgie unlike a lot of parents who give up at the first hurdle or problems. I am determined to continue. The Dr's agreed with me this morning to exclusively breast feed Georgie at night. I am just hoping and praying that Georgie continues this upward weight gain when she comes home & doesn't do what she did a few weeks ago & start to lose or not gain the weight.

I am so tired it's untrue! I just want to go to sleep for a long time. Maybe wake up when the children are grown up & have their own families!. I'm gonna try and get some of that precious shut eye I need now.

I managed to Find some post's I made about Georgie's life on the outside after I finished this dairy for her so I am going to include these in this diary so that you the reader gets a full picture of Our Sweet Angel Princess.

19/03/02 16:53:41 I want to Scream!!

Georgina is now 11 weeks old and is gaining weight well now although she seems to b starting to slide yet again!!! she was weighed yesterday HV did a home visit and has only gained 3 oz in the last week when she was gaining 6 oz a week! but a gain is better than a loss! I think I am finally getting somewhere with Dr's ect it helps to have my Health visitor on side she came round yesterday for a home visit and is going to visit me at home every week to weigh Georgie (now 6lb 7oz the same weight as Bradley at birth only taken 11 weeks!!!) and to chat to me as she seems to think I have PND :-(( I had to find out the name of a consultant yesterday to be referred to at St Thomas' so I can b referred to the Pregnancy clinic as Georgie is under 3 months old that way I'll get seen quicker within 2 weeks fingers crossed!! I had to phone the surgery with the name so they can fax it over while HV was here and she said to phone St Thomas' 2morrow and if they haven't received the fax then to phone her and
she will go in there shouting her words!! I must admit it's been great having her on my side she is also going to contact Home start for me and refer me to them for some support as I am not getting any at the moment she said I am doing a great job under difficult circumstances! so a little praise for my hv there!

The reason I want to scream is Georgie was due to have her 8 week Jabs today but coz of all this lupus stuff she has to have an inactive polio one and guess what they have to order it in aghhh we will have to wait another couple of weeks had to cancel that appointment for the 3rd time aghhhh one good thing is though I will not have to make another appointment HV s gonna phone me when the vaccine is in yeahh and then I can just take her down to clinic and have it done I am stressing so much well rant over!!!

This was the last post I made about Georgina just 4 days before she gained her wings

On: 06/04/02 17:50

Mal has poped out to his m8's for an hour i am currently holding little miss Georgina who is chatting and laughing away as i type she has a filthy laugh!! sry! just to let u all know that Georgie is now 7lb 3oz a 4oz gain in 10 days HV is ok with it dietitan is not :-(( but we are back at the hospital on Weds so we'll see what they say!!!

Sadley Georgina didn't make this appointment. She gained her wings of Gold while sleeping in my arms on Weds 10th April 2002 the morning she was supposed to be seeing her consultant.